I will risk it.

"I will give you this, my love, and I will not bargain or barter any longer. I will love you, as sure as He has loved me. I will discover what I can discover and though you remain a mystery, save God's own knowledge, what I disclose of you I will keep in the warmest chamber of my heart, the very chamber where God has stowed Himself in me. And I will do this to my death, and to death it may bring me.
I will love you like God, because of God, mighted by the power of God. I will stop expecting your love, demanding you love, trading for your love, gaming for your love. I will simply love. I am giving myself to you, and tomorrow I will do it again. I suppose the clock itself will wear thin its time before I am ended at this altar of dying and dying again.
God risked Himself on me. I will risk myself on you. And together, we will learn to love, and perhaps then, and only then, understand this gravity that drew Him, unto us.” - Donald Miller


Since last year, I've always wondered and debated on the fact that it is men who have to initiate relationships and pursue relentlessly. In Indian tradition, that is not always the case, although my dad didn't really follow suit : The parents usually find a good girl for you, you meet up and ta-daaa - you're married, if you like the girl. Simple, right?

However, this past year, being in Canada and attending the church young adults group and all, I have learnt that men pursue women.

And so I have grappled with the question : If God really cares about me and my heart and doesn't wan't me to fall prey to heartbreaks then why would he ask me to pursue someone and make myself vulnerable? Why wouldn't God just reveal to me in a dream what/who my wife is?
Of course, God could but that wouldn't always be the case.

I think as adopted sons of God, as we learn to live Spirit-filled lives, we ask for wisdom and God pours i out to us. Sometimes, we just have to use our discretion and wisdom. Not barring the fact that we ask for God's desire in our lives but, we our enabled to live a life pleasing to God through the Spirit of wisdom.

Most importantly, coming back to the part of risking oneself in pursuing. Jesus risked rejection when he pursued me. So many people reject his appeal; his pursuit of their hearts. He gave it all. He made himself fully vulnerable. He deserves all our worship and love. Yet, so many reject him daily for things that cannot satisfy. For false intimacies. He risked it. 

In the same way I will risk it. When I am of age and the right maturity, I will pursue. Not foolishly, of course. I will pursue a woman who loves God and has the same vision as me. In that pursuit, there is room for heart break, but, if I don't risk it, I risk regretting not taking that risk.


I got the inspiration to this Blog post from this video :

Do check it out.

Until then and even after, I will continually love my Jesus who is so worthy of all my love and all my adoration. When is He not worthy loving back?

Filled with the Spirit?

Many times I wonder what people not familiar with Christian-ese think about our jargon. For example, "He touched me" (lol, where?) or "I wash my robes (in the blood of the Lamb)" - why not wash your shirt? or Kandura? Just find that hilarious.

I was just talking with my mom about being 'Filled with the Spirit'. I partly agree with her on the fact that the Holy Spirit doesn't leave us once we give Him control but can be quenched. Where I disagree is the point that we cannot be filled with more and that God has given the fullness of the Spirit.
I'm not too sure about my position although I'd say that I lean more towards the side of being filled more, continually.

Working at Scott Mission Camp this summer, our theme was 'Fruit of the Spirit'. Our theme passage was (I;m going to say it from memory. Let's see how much I remember) : " For I say, walk by the Spirit and you shall not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are contrary to the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are contrary to the Flesh. They are contrary to one another to keep you doing from the things that you want to do...but the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control; Against such there is no law and those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh along with its passions and desires "! Galatians 5:16, 17, 21,22
Honestly, I did not look at the bible. Hopefully, it's correct! That's what repeating it 5 times in 8 weeks can do!

Another scripture on walking in the Spirit :  Romans 8:13,14 : " For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.

For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God"

 I am a failure!

Yes, I said it.

I can do nothing. I can try, yes but I WILL fail. I know it. I cannot love every time as Jesus did. I cannot be patient with my family all the time (most of the time, really). I cannot keep my eyes from lusting. I cannot live a holy life.
I need His Spirit EVERY HOUR. Ephesians 5:18- .."Be filled with the Spirit". If you want your Christian life to be out of a place of love and gratitude and not duty, be filled with the Spirit!


Now, how does this look like in a practical sense?
Reading the WOORRDD!!
I was reading this book the other day : 'Radical' be David Platt where he talks about this worship service in Asia. There were no entertainment systems. No keyboards, guitars or any band of any sorts but just God's children and His word. I think as Christians, we have to depend on His word. Meditate on it day and night!
I don't think we live in the Spirit merely by mental assent. We have to submit our will to God daily! That is essential! Romans 12:1-2.

Live in the Spirit. 

God is most glorified when you are most satisfied in Him.

Pressing on

A really lazy day today. Just raining the whole time. Apparently it's going to be this way for the remaining week. That's a pity, but hey! I'm not one to despair, I've got 2 midterms coming up this Friday; can't wait to get that over with.

Loved today's worship. Everything went really well; Good keys-friendly songs. What touched me and was much more important is what God spoke through Pastor Peter - Joseph.

It's remarkable how much a young man had to go through. Yes, people see him and they see that he was elevated at such a young age (comparatively) but every gem that shines undergoes years of pressure, of rejection, of disappointment, of refusal, of denial. Enough to push any ordinary man down the ladder and into the abyss, even Joseph. However, one thing that he did, that distinguished him from others was that "the LORD was with him."(Genesis 39:21)

How does this apply to me?
Lately, well, from the beginning of this year, I have been facing a really dry season in my spiritual walk with God. It definitely is God asking me to seek Him more, to delve deeper in His presence, to trust and depend on Him more and to experience and realize the fact that I cannot do anything without His grace through the Holy Spirit.
However, it's already almost a year! How long do I have to wait till I have that 'something more'? Every time when I read His word or hear a word, I can see God wooing me in, to go deeper and that 'final destination' is close.

Slowly, yet surely I know my time will come. It is difficult to see everyone having the greatest times in God's presence. Mistake me not, I have great times refreshing in His presence but then it doesn't last. It leaves me wanting more. Maybe there's nothing to wait for but then again I know He will come.

Jesus said in John 7:37-39 - "On the last and greatest day of the Feast, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, “If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink.38Whoever believes in me, as^c the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him.” 39By this he meant the Spirit, whom those who believed in him were later to receive. Up to that time the Spirit had not been given, since Jesus had not yet been glorified."

"Hunger and thirst for His righteousness, and you'll be filled. "

Hanging on my salvation and knowledge of the hope  I have in Christ. Oh, that he would choose me, a sinner not deserving his acknowledgement or selection, full of sin, that He would die for me, save me, change me and continually pour out his love on me. Right now I am content living in His will as I always shall be. However, I will go after the more he has for me. There is no limit to His Spirit(John 3:34).

It's wonderful to know Jesus. Oh, that I have found unconditional love in the person of Jesus Christ!!!!!